Cast of Characters 4:42 p.m. 08.22.2002
Seems only fitting to introduce some of the characters in my life so that any who wish to know more, may. This is, of course, in no particular order so no one should be offended at the placement in my list. That would be silly.

Family:

Grandmother (Betty) � She�s the sick one, chronically sick. She also saved my life more times then I care to count. She has been all but abandoned by her ingrate children so now she is all I have and I am all she has. During my less then stellar childhood, she fought God (the church), state, and my mother to remove me from the poisoned environment I was residing in. She taught me what it is to love and appreciate the women of the world. How could she know any better?

Mother (Janet) � Our past is rocky at best and evil at worst. We�ve finally got to a point where our relationship is more loving then not. I�m immensely proud in her on how she was able to save herself from the dark path she was heading. I love my mother but I used to hate her. I remember times, before the dark years, where she would hold me and point out things like sunsets, flowers, and other natural wonders and say �Beautiful...�. Little did she know...

Uncle (Dave) � The current monumental fuck up that vexes grandma. He�s the baby of the bunch and is now a drug fiend stalking the streets. He�s done everything in his power to hurt grandma and soak her for everything. Oh, he also hates me with an utter burning passion. The feeling is mutual.

There are a few more, of course, but none ever really make the diary. I�ll come back and add to the list as necessary.

Friends:

Friends are the corner stone of my life. Without my dear friends I would be nothing.

Richard � The one dependable stone of sanity and depth in this city of shallowness. My life would be hollow indeed if not for the many talks about this or that, understanding the world in a new way and exploring my own perceptions. He�s as much my family as any other member, even more so in fact. The brother I�ll always love and the brother I�ll occasionally want to slug :).

Blaise - Blaise got me into this whole mess. In more ways then one :). I never thought a friendship could remain so strong over so many miles for such a length of time. If it�s possible, I think our friendship has even grown. Of course, I visited not too long ago. She�s brilliant, beautiful and emotional, and above all... a grrrrl.

Stephanie � Currently residing in New York City (shut up), we�ve been through a lot together. More specifically, she�s been through a lot. Our friendship is and always will be very special to me. Even though I haven�t talked to her in over a month, I think of her almost daily. She�s been an unbelievable support pillar and is a fierce and loving person. If, upon my death bed, I could say I had one true love of my life, I think it would probably be her. Our friendship will endure death.

Erica � Dear Erica... I met her the night of the accident which I was subsequently fired for. I�ve sense changed her name to �The Harbinger of the Winds of Change�, but we still call her Erica for short. She reminded me of my passion for photography and how necessary it is to me. But above all, she is an amazing human being. She is a Starry Night and I am the boy behind the velvet ropes. As I�ve said before, she�s like dancing with lightning. Amazingly beautiful but ultimately deadly.
Updated: 4/16/03 - In a strange twist of events, she�s shacked up with a religious zealot, who, to be frank, is not only a moron of (hehe forgive the pun) biblical proportions, but flat out fucking crazy. Oh, and he�s an asshole too. Go figure. Naturally, as only this story would have it, she�s now pregnant and well on her way to being yet another single mother who had a child too early in life. Could she turn this into something positive? Only time will tell. I used to consider the dreams we talked about together until the early hours as just that, dreams, but I guess I didn�t expect them to be abolished quite so soon. I still adore the hell out of this girl, don�t get me wrong, but I�m just worried and puzzled. And while she is no longer lightning, she�s still important to me.

Geoff � Geoff is an interesting friend, to be sure. He is, perhaps, one of the most steadfastly loyal friends I�ve ever had. He really would do almost anything for you. What makes him so interesting is his duality. On one hand, devout Catholic, and on the other... whips and chains... Right, so anyway... He�s had some serious �tolerence� issues in the past but he�s working on them, all in all though he�s a wonderful friend.
Updated: 4/16/03 - He�s started a diary of his own. Enjoy the war in his head � thetallguy.

Susan � Ah, Susan... What to say? Does the tree lament for the lightning after the strike? We�ve now gotten to the point of having a seemingly civil and open friendship but it�s been a hard road. My particular road took me to the depths and back again, haunted by what I�ve seen in my own depravity and loss. I loved her like I�ve loved no other and that love become an entropic energy that unravelled nearily everything. No one can escape this life without one great love lost, so it seems.. She is mine. Updated: 3/17/03 - It's been literally three months since I've spoken with Susan. Our last phone conversation was on Christmas Eve when she called to ask how to remove the document history on a computer because she was snooping on her boyfriends computer. Pretty fucking miserable end to a pretty fucking miserable story. I wonder if she'll ever realize I was one of the few that actually gave a shit about her? Eh.. probably not. I wish her the best, either way. Image added: 4/16/03 (click on name)

Edie � I curse and praise her in the same breath. She awakened the original passion and delight in photography. She saw in me something different and pushed and prodded painfully to see that talent blossom. Beyond this, she�s one of the more amazing people I�ve had the privilege to meet in this world. In fact, I think this world would be a better.. er okay, it would be a more interesting place if more people like her were around :P.

Paul - I�m conflicted about how I should describe Paul. On one hand and in the right light he can be seen as the scorpion seducing the frog into the doomed river crossing. On the other, one of the most important people I�ve met. He�s a dichotomy, to be sure. Articulate, intelligent, and a scared little boy in an Adonis body. I don�t believe he�s nearly as self centered as he�d have you believe but it�s good camouflage. Every once in awhile he�ll surprise the hell out of you, just when you think he�s simply waiting for his turn to talk, he�s listening more then you know. A gifted writer and wonderfully ... open? He�s one of my most confusing, confounding, and terrifying friends. I don�t think I�d change a thing. Anything can be confessed to him without fear, it�s rather refreshing. Oh he�ll judge you, don�t think he won�t, but the judgements are often time fair and typically he�s done worse so it makes for a push. His closet of dirty little secrets is fascinating to poke around in.

Joyce - Added: 4/16/03 Joyce was the nice girl I extended myself for recently (from the above date) in hopes of some sort of romantic connection. No such luck, as it we would have it, she stumbled upon a boy scout which I can�t even, apparently, hold a candle to. We�ll likely remain friends despite the less then savory aspect of watching a woman who I was interested in explore other romantic relationships. Chalk it up to timing, bad circumstances, or too much body hair, whichever, it doesn�t really matter. She�s a wonderful girl and I�m curious as to how the next few years of her life are going to treat her. She�s got a lot of work to do on herself but I�ve got a hunch she can pull it off. My gaze lingers, but I know I must turn my head and continue on. A monster named �Apathy� has torn down a recently built sand castle that I created to insulate myself from the inherent dangers of being her friend. I found that holding ground no longer mattered to me and am now again walking on. It�s my fault for initially having such high hopes, without any real evidence other then her propensity to be adorably nice and loving. It helped that she�s crazy sexy, but I can�t help that :P..

Jen - Added: 4/16/03 Jen is one of those flowery loving people with some real contrasting dark emotions floating around in there, making her a damned interesting person. I enjoy the interaction I�ve had with her so far and look forward to more. She�s one of the people that�ll likely be around for a lifetime. She gives herself far too little credit then she deserves. She deserves all the love the world can give her.

Corinne - Added: 4/16/03 She�s the protagonist in a lot of my photography, including the current template design. Almost single handedly responsible for me pursuing the direction I have with photography, her modeling talents are spectacular. She�s now assisting for a well known and respected tattoo artist here in town and has, from what I�ve heard, developed quite the skill in the art herself. Visit their website here - Paradox Studio�s. I�ve recently caught back up with her after 3 or so years, or was it 4? Yeah.. 4 I think. She�s been through a lot in those 4 years but seems to be headed to a better path. I hope not to lose contact with her again as I�d like her to be a part of what the future has in store for me with photography since she inspired so much of the initial imagery.

These are the friends and family memebers I am urged to speak of right now. I will, of course, come back and edit this as my fancy suits. I love each and every one of them in their own special way, and they all mean the world to me.

Below, for ease, I will link what few photographs I have online. This is until I can build a proper gallery which is coming soon, along with the often hinted at template. It�s been burned and reborn a few times but we�ll see how this one shapes up.

Various:
Easter Sunday
Ellie Mae
Verily
Love
Godfuck
Happy Smiley Hero Pup
Boredom
Boredom2
Broken Pipe
Old Car
Abandoned

ADDED: 4/24/03And uh, click HERE for a bunch more (thumbnailed, even) that I haven't gotten around to adding here, yet.

Erica:
Dust
B&W, Sitting
Crouching
Heartbreak
Inequity

Jessica:
Series of Photographs (click next and all that jazz)

How unwittingly:
Alone
Diva
Pensive
Sensation
Tense
Thought
Frame of Mind

Sunset:
Sunset one
Sunset two
Sunset three

�Snapshots�:
From left to right; Susan, ME, Edie, Thanos.
Fucking HOT (temperature)

X-mas, 2002