Fuck fuck fuck.

I swear to god, the only way I look even half way decent without facial hair is if I�m borderline anorexic. Or, at least, when I was at my lowest weight, that�s what people told me I looked like. At least then my face had definition. That�s it. Hunger strike, damnit!

My head still hurts from this weekend. Not whining, no, I earned it. I deserved it, damnit. Just stating.

I should start my night job by the end of the week. It�ll be good to be back behind a bar, I think. Although I�d really like to be behind a quality bar as opposed to some shit casino bar, but that�s okay. Money is money and right now I need whatever I can get.

I can�t wait for the weather to calm the hell down either, I need to shoot in a bad bad way but it�s simply too hot. I can�t ask a model to wake up at 5am for when it�s cool, they are worthless during that time of the morning, and around 6-7pm it�s around 120 so they melt. Bleh.

May go to Alabama in two days. If he decides to start my schedule next Monday, I�m gone. I need a change of scenery desperately right now. Not to mention, I really could use some time with someone who returns my emotional investment. And no, this isn�t a whine, just stating that it�s nice to be around a female (especially) who, even in friendship, returns even a 3rd of the emotional investment.

Speaking of which, Erica is gone, off to be an Alaska fish gutter. It should be a decent adventure for her. I wish her the best of luck. I�ve no doubt we�ll remain in contact, albeit lose contact, for the rest of our lives. I just realized recently that I wasn�t as important of a friend to her as she claimed at some point. It�s not as big as a surprise as I thought it would be. Either that or I just genuinely care less then I was once apt to.

It�s all just par for the course.

That�s one thing to be said for male friends, however, they are infinitely more loyal. As a teenager, I never thought I�d admit that.

Okay, I�ve got to go piss in a cup, and lose some underarm hair.

-G