So. I�m wearing a lobster on my head. Don�t ask me why because I wouldn�t be able to answer you and I like having all the answers. I did get a pitiful sex offer, but it was only out of pity. My uh �friends� decided to tell this girl how I�m the dysfunctional �guy� as in, emotional and one who participates in communication (both listening and expressing) and how I�ve been walked on by various ex-girlfriends. She felt bad for me. Uh.. gee thanks.
It has, however, been discovered that I am the PERFECT guy for the girl who is or just left a really bad relationship because I embody all of the qualities that they wished their fuck head boyfriend had. Sensitivity, loving to shop with them, excellent cook, wonderful masseuse who actually really enjoys giving back/foot/full body massages a /lot/.
Now that I think about it, a good deal of my past girlfriends were right out of a bad relationship. I never really thought much about it because I sort of assumed that every relationship that wasn�t with me just wasn�t up to snuff. Call me crazy. Being an exceedingly loving and appreciative person and all, I find it hard to believe that anyone else could live up to my expectations on how a woman �should� be treated. Now, I stress the whole �should� thing and make a point to say that it isn�t what the way they �want� to be treated. As, well, it often differs.
Funny.
Okay I�m drunk and writing a diary entry about relationships. How the FUCK did I get on this lame ass subject? I mean, really. Go read 50 random diary entries and a large percentage of them will be people bitching about relationships of some sort or another. How utterly boring and clich�.
Fuck, I�m really not a bad drunk typist. I rule. Oh and all but one of my girlfriends (and sexual partners) say I have a wonderful tongue. I�ve no idea why I felt like I should disclose that. But I did.
Uh huh. Yeah.
-G
I leave you with a glimpse of the madness; Tallguy deep-throating a banana.
