It occurred to me that my heightened pulse and quickness of breath concerning the status of my sleeping grandmother was pretty silly, but it�s a common occurrence whenever she�s asleep. Will she wake up this time? Is this going to be it, the day I�ve feared all of my life?
Thankfully(?) I don�t find her asleep often. Mainly because she doesn�t sleep. Which, of course, is part of the problem. I know from my current sleep patterns that I�ll likely be the same if I ever reach that age.
So I slink into her darkened room, convinced to ascertain her condition. Listening for things like, oh... breathing. The tell tale signs of life, such as.. chest moving up and down. You know, things like that. Of course, she scares the absolute shit out of me by practically yelling �BOO� as I peer at the covers to detect movement, heart racing.
At this rate, I�m going to be the one who is going to die of a heart attack 
.
I need some forward movement, some sort of progress in some facet of my life. At this point, I�m not going to be picky as to which facet. Anything would do.
It�s rather amusing that the only girl I know who I�m letting myself be attracted to is some girl who works at Roma like one day a week. It�s her smile that nabs me, I�m such a sucker for a good smile. That and she �seems� really cool. Too bad we�re on different planes of existence. Or maybe, thank god. Whichever.
I�m fascinated by how the mind works. The things I do to prevent myself from being attracted to a person is pretty damned amazing. Unobtainable attractions are the worst though, so why bother with them at all?
Oh well. I�m going to the gym I think.. or no, actually I�m going to go make some tea and read.
Tea and lotto tickets,
-G