Anyway, so I'm listening to opera and drinking port. Sarah Brightman, to be exact. I'm moved... I'm probably way too emotional.
It's been an interesting night, in my head of course.. I'm pretty good at keeping this shit transparent, I'd like to think so, anyway.
I can not have what I really want, what I truly desire, so I take it out on everyone else. It makes me genuinly sad. I can't think of anything more sad then sitting here by candle light, listening to some of the most beautiful opera ever made, so far removed from my true desire.
I hate life sometimes. I hate the human condition and I hate myself. But isn't that the punch line? Yeah...
I have an avenue which I will take, a road that I've travelled before. A cop out I've utilized before. I hope this will be the last time...
What happens will happen and to hell with everything else. I'm so close to cashing in it's not even funny. Good thing I'm a coward.
I'm too drunk and I'm too emotional and I'm a stupid fucking idiot, all I do is want and need things.
This toast is to you, my anon friends. How I love you all so...
-G