It�s been a few days, I know. After the birthday bender with Geoff Friday night, I somewhat withdrew from the world. The first two days weren�t for any specific reason in particular but now I have a reason. A bad reason.. Not saying it�s a bad reason to withdraw just that the reason is bad. Uh.. ya whatever.

Anyway, it�s humanity. The human condition. I go through spells like this now and then, you know, your typical everyday melancholy brought upon by the inherent faults of our species? Specifically, the human ability to be utterly and completely blind in emotional situations. It�s frustrating as hell! When removed from the situation, it�s all too clear.

Most of us that�s been around for a bit has been on both sides of this. I know I have, the relationship that almost killed me? If you were to have told me the relationship was poison, I would�ve laughed in your face and pronounced you the most asinine person on the planet. A year and one shattered esteem/heart later and �Wow, that relationship fucking sucked for me.� Crystal clear, got it.

This all is nothing new, been happening forever, right? Right. But it still gets to me when friends get caught in this. You can�t tell them anything, you�re wrong, you don�t know, you have ulterior motives, all that shit. So you basically are forced to let them continue their self destructive behavior and just.. what, hope for the best? This is what I have a fundamental problem with. I hate feeling helpless. I mean, I�m pretty good about certain things I can�t control. You know, a big rock comes crashing into your windshield.. �Oh, well that sucked.� And move on. But this shit? *sigh*

So I�ve got film at the lab I didn�t pick up today because I�m generally dissatisfied with the planet. I�m sure it would make me feel better though, in fact, I�m going to pick it up for sure tomorrow. Something needs to help break this melancholy. I even avoided going to dinner with Erica and Becky tonight, which is super rare because I always have a great time around them. Not tonight though.. nope, I sat in front of my computer from about 2pm till now. Anything constructive? Uh.. I rearranged my HD in a more logical order and put my favorites in sub-folders for category. Other then that, dead to the world.

I�ve got a relatively inexpensive bottle of wine left, think it�s a Merlot.. can�t remember. I�m going to drown my headache, go through old pictures, and marvel at the world and how beautiful it could be if only we�d let it.

Passion...

-G

P.S. Small rant on this, why in the hell do people fear the unknown? How ARROGANT is that? They act as if they know what there is to be affraid of. It's... UNKNOWN. Hitherto unexperienced! Okay, I'm done.