Dampening of vital spirits; mechanical activity 4:53 a.m. 09.20.2002
So� I�m thinking that maybe if I force myself to sleep for a few weeks, well, okay maybe a week, I could go a week without sleep kinda like I am now. Except I wouldn�t be so miserable about it. I think the theory is sound, don�t you?

I think people of every race, color, culture, and social status would enjoy popping bubble wrap.

Ohhhh I want a glass of wine please! A nice refreshing cold fume blanc would be lovely right now.

Anyway, I was talking today with a couple of friends about how I�ve been ducking the sexual advances of a particular girl lately, not overt like but acutely aware of keeping myself out of any situations where sex would be the normal outcome. Why? Well, that�s complicated. But it was interesting to see the shock and dismay of my more typical male friends. Uh� I had a point to this, hrmph.

I�m thirsty.

Ohh! I remember. I�m loosing my desire for more traditional forms of pleasure. I�m sure it will just take the right person to snap me out of it but mainly I�m just bored. However, I�m cultivating new forms of pleasurable sensations. For example, I took extreme pleasure in fixing a small midnight snack; two chicken breast strips cooked in a George Foreman grill (recently given to me), some organic spicy spaghetti sauce, and mozzarella cheese. Instead of arranging them as you would likely arrange them (layered), I sat on the kitchen counter and dipped the chicken into the jar of cold sauce while the microwave melted the cheese into a lump, which I ate as a big chewy ball.

It wasn�t that I was too lazy to arrange them in the traditional way, it�s that I wanted to eat in a new way. It was exciting! The too hot chicken, unseasoned, used to scoop out the cold salsa like tomato sauce. Rewarded with the feel of cold hard countertop under my ass and a lovely view of my cramped little kitchen elegantly lit by the fading fluorescent light.

On top of that, I had a funny conversation with my mother tonight, it wasn�t funny �haha� but you know, funny strange. She called while I was sitting in my car in an abandoned parking lot, listening to Underworld and waiting for the effects of the few beers to wear off. She asked if I had a girlfriend or anyone who I was infatuated with. Of course, I replied �No�. She was silent for a second and said �Of course, it�s hard for dreamers these days.�

I�ve a water bottle, a big blue one with the brand name �Deja Blue�. I keep filling it up with the water from the 5 gallon dispenser in the kitchen. I�ve had it since the photoshoot over a week and a half ago. I keep filling it up and using it.. Dejablue.. That�s funny, I like it.

Oh and that sales spiel about the George Foreman grill being easy to clean? It�s horse shit. The little fucker is a pain in the ass.

Just thought you should know.

-G