I fuckin told you I don�t sleep!
Anyway, the girl of my dreams answered this question; What was your most humbling moment?
�Getting caught masturbating to scenes from �The Last Temptation of Christ�. Geez, can�t a girl ever have some fun?�
Now THAT is a good answer!
Heretical fun for the whole family. That�s what I want in a woman. Because, you know, people take too many things too god damned seriously anymore!
Ah hell, I just thought of a few things I was going to do tomorrow.. today� whatever. Bleh, I can do it half conscious, I�m that damned good. What am I doing? Eh, going to coffee with a woman I asked out earlier this week. Think my raccoon look will go over well? Er.. Yeah, me either. Oh well.
Somehow, I just keep finding useless shit to do while I sit here, strangely awake. And I say strangely because the type of awake is strange, not necessarily because it�s strange that I�m awake. Er, you following?
Right now, I keep playing Dan Bern�s over and over. Oh I�m also, and this is really geeky, tweaking the hue mask for my sepia tone digital printing technique. Ahh fuck it, let�s just go through all the shit that�s going on right now, you know, ingredients in the mental blender:
I�m wondering why my friendship with Erica has gone so badly. It�s like standing in an empty parking lot, completely devoid of anything and everything, and then getting hit by an ink filled water balloon. You just kind of stand there, looking around, saying to yourself, �What the fuck?� And perhaps �badly� is the wrong word. I�m just not real sure what the word is. Whatever it is, it sucks.
I�m contemplating the nature of our ability for abstract thought and what the ramifications for that in science and art. We can see 10 trees in our head, we could probably even see 12-14, depending on how good you are, but just picture a thousand trees. It�s a big clump, yet we�re able to abstractly conceptualize a thousand trees and be able to understand some measure of depth in a literal world. It�s the mechanism that allows us to view art in any kind of intelligible light.
I�m giggling to myself about a conversation I had with someone a few days ago who, not only believes that God is omniscient, but that we also have free will. Which, if you�ve thought about this at all, or read any length of general philosophy/theology, is pretty damned funny.
I�m trying to explain Mozart without considering the possibility that aliens did indeed, fuck the monkeys. I�m not having much luck.
I�m berating myself for being too lazy to write in a more creative and or constructive way. I had all these grand plans to actually partake in the little English community that I found, or that found me, whichever. And see, I�m even too damned lazy to go back and link the particular entry. There was a picture on the site that was put there for the members to draw inspiration and describe the situation in a descriptive story sense. I had something completely worked out in my head as to my take on it, which was a deep contrast from existing stories, and here it sits, rotting away in my brain.
I�m really wondering if Dan Bern wants balls the size of Texas. I�m not completely convinced. Call me crazy.
At some point throughout the evening, I�ve wondered if there were any women that I�m in relatively regular contact with that would ever consider dating me on a romantic level. The only reason I am thinking about this is because I�ve notice a particular tendency where I discount the possibility entirely unless said woman practically rapes me. And yes, that actually happened. Needless to say, I got the hint when she put my hand on her ass and purred �fuck me� in my ear. Hey, I don�t need to be told twice. Well, okay, maybe twice the first time, but after that? Forget about it. Wind blows across my crotch and I�m ready to go! Yeehaw!.. or something.
I actually considered detailing out the top five most memorable sexual moments I�ve had. Then realized that the top five just wouldn�t cut it. I can�t narrow it down that much. Oh, and I also considered that when I have a significant other in the future, the Seinfeld rule will come into play. That being, she will find it and feel upset about it (threatened, insecure, jealous, pity(?) eh, who knows. But it would happen, damn it!). I must learn my lessons from Paul.
Okay, locations. I can do locations. That�s not bad, right? And I�ll do top three. We�ll go from 3 � 1. Kinda like the top 10 list on David Lettermen, except this is only 3, and not on the late show.
3. Under the table of an Italian restaurant while they were cleaning the place.
2. The wall by my front door.
1. A hallway in a dingy hotel/apartment/flat complex in Hong Kong.
Heh.. the wall.. that was a good night.. Eh, anyway�
Pardon me for a moment, I must tinkle.
Ah, much better.
Now, where was I?
Oh yes! I was lamenting over my lost ugly ass coffee mug :(. It was big. I loved the damned thing, and it�s broken. I wrote about my broken ugly mug before, but I just missed it tonight. Chamomile always makes me miss it. It was my tea mug. My ugly tea mug. I loved my ugly tea mug!
I briefly attempted to scrounge up the add I put in craigslist looking for a roommate in SF when I lived there. I was proud of it. I met one of my GF through that ad, even. She didn�t want the place, but she just had to get to know the person who wrote such a crazy ad.
AHHHH what the hell is this shit? Peaches & Cream � DJ Envy� Bleh, left over Susan MP3�s.. good god, this is horrible. Ahh okay, onto some dust brothers.
But I couldn�t find it. Granted, I didn�t look *that* hard. Eh, maybe I�ll find it later.
OHH I also did an in-depth study of the effectiveness of different brands of dental floss. Well, 2 different brands. I would chew a bit of turkey jerky, make sure there was plenty of dried animal flesh caught between my pearly whites, and then use each different kind of floss on it to remove it. You know, finding out which was more effective vs. comfortable, etc.? So I�ve come to the conclusion that they both are pretty damned good. I�ve got this �Flosbrush� system by ButlerGUM, the floss is kinda big so it only really works well on the front teeth since my molars are pretty tight together. Now, the GLIDE floss I have is perfect for getting in between those tightly packed molars but not so effective at the stuff with more room. It just kinda slides around the dried animal flesh, without really caring about the removal of said dried animal flesh. And of course, the thick stuff is too hard to use on the back teeth. Feels like I�m going to rip my jaw off trying to get the damn thing out of the teeth.
And, well.. I did and thought about other trivial shit as well. But I think I�ve written myself into a point where I can go to bed.. maybe? It�s only been 24 hours since I slept, for that hour or 2.
Ya ya, I know, whaa freakin whaaa.
Okay fine, I�m going to bed, love and monkey ass rockets.
-G