Because, you know.. I�m not. Life has been so surreal lately, to be perfectly honest, maybe it�s part of the process of winding myself up to shoot better now that I have a wonderful and eager subject (see above) that timed out perfectly with my need to shoot. Maybe it�s D., the person I have told you all about yet. Truth be told, she doesn�t want me to tell you all about her. So I won�t tell you how wonderful she is, and how amazingly nice and appreciative she is. No, none of that, all so very hush hush! I mean, she probably wouldn�t even want me talking about all the wild sex we have, either. So no, I can�t talk about it at all :P.
It�s interesting to observe myself throughout all this, however. It�s funny what things I let slide, mentally speaking, vs. others. The sheer complexity in my current mental framework is fascinating right now. I�ve got all these contrasting desires pulling me all over the place, meanwhile I�m struggling with my artistic vision, my upcoming show, trying to understand and redefine things like �love� and what not (because I honestly have no idea anymore). It makes for kind of a box of coat hangers (read, jumbled fucking mess). And to top that all off, I�m ridiculously happy. Of course the same concerns are still there, Grandma, my fucked financial situation, pressures personally, etc., but I�ve taken that kind of sublime contentment (which isn�t accurate, because I�ll never be content, I just don�t know how to phrase it) I found when I was single and carried that further now. It�s amazing what a person being nice to you will do for your outlook on humanity as a whole.
We�ll see how it pans out. I wish I had the energy to write about my last job experience. Many great anecdotes =. Soon, maybe...
-G