She�s abso-fucking-lutely miserable. And she seems to want to continue being miserable. For example, pharmacy fucked up her prescription stuff with the god awful Plan D or whatever the hell it�s called. It�s new, and they�ve undoubtedly fucked up a lot of things trying to adjust for it. No one is perfect, right? And it wasn�t fucked up as in, she was supposed to have a high blood pressure medication and they gave her Rat Poison or anything. But there she is, in tears. I go to give her a hug; she pushes me away and locks herself in her room. Is this what raising a teenager is supposed to be like?
This is one of thousands of cases where I get treated like a creep for her being upset at someone else. Fine, I understand and have understood that this happens and will continue happening. I try to talk to her, get her to see she�s being over reactive and too sensitive. People are people, they make mistakes, they have bad days, they are human, but she takes it ALL so personally. She says she�s been like that her whole life (lie), and is 75 years old and not going to change. Argh...
We got a brand new set of beautiful daily ware for our engagement party, complete with new silverware and everything, the whole shebang. She refuses to use any of it. She takes this old salt and pepper shaker that she�s had to bore open the holes to keep it functioning and hides it away. Same with the old ratty silverware, bows, plates, etc. She�s using second hand chipped up crap. Why??
I asked and her response �I�m a stubborn old bitty.�
What in the fuck does THAT mean?
It�s endless. The cats are destroying the house, one corner of the carpet, and one corner of furniture at a time. We laugh and tell people we haven�t really moved in yet because we have no nice furnishings, the truth of the matter is, we�re waiting for the cats to die before we get nice stuff that won�t get destroyed in the matter of a week. De-clawing is completely out of the question (the hair alone is unreal, vacuuming is a dialing occurrence), and even those vinyl nail covers aren�t acceptable.
PLUS! And this is what gets me, she�s constantly bitching about the cats. About how they won�t leave her alone for a second, about their hair, about this and that, and is constantly YELLING at them. Actually yelling! We can hear her at strange times of nights screaming �SHUT UP!� among various other obscenities.
�
Excuse me but, if these cats are this fucking horrible, and not even SHE likes them, wouldn�t that be cause to give them away to someone that would actually like them? But alas, no. They are all she has, apparently.
She wished she had never moved out of the old neighborhood. Yeah, the one where we put fish tanks in front of the window, lined the backs of them with rocks, to help slow down stray gunfire. Where every weekend we could start a betting pool on which house the cops would be at next, and whether or not there would be any fatalities or just flesh wounds. Where she constantly bitched about wanting to get out, at any cost.
Well, I�ve done it. My oldest goal was accomplished, I got my grandma out of the fucking ghetto. And she�s absolutely miserable for it.
Lovely, just fucking lovely.
It�s amazing that D loves me enough to deal with it herself. I have history behind Grams, my love goes way back and I�ll always love her. She�s new to this, and yet she still loves her, even though she gets treated pretty awful at times.
I�m just tired of the misery. Nothing will ever make it better. She�s said so. My attempts to get her to counseling have been, at best, a fiasco. I�m beginning to genuinely believe that she wants to be miserable.
Sigh��
-G