Status: Sleeping 20 hours a day. Except today, because you know, I like played video games for a lil while before limping back to bed.
Been having a lot of dreams, mostly about Susan. Fevered and wild, colors of simple fabric usually overpowering any sense of reason or direction of said dreams, but I can see her face from time to time. How she used to smile at me.
Well, mostly would probably be inaccurate, it�s just what I was thinking about right now. There is a lot of that �lamenting� crap going on right now.
I think I�ve had this fever for 3 days. Somewhere in the back of my head a voice tells me that, that isn�t good. It�ll break soon, I�ll be okay. Fear not for I am going to the doctor at 3:15pm tomorrow afternoon. He�ll fix me.
I�ve got a cough that starts in my guts and rumbles to the surface riding a wave of pain, the pressure threatening to explode my head. If only it would actually or, should I say, finally explode.
I was a trooper though, cause I played video games.
So a friend, who happens to be female, told me about how she wishes she was around to make me home made soup and star-shaped sandwiches on moon shaped paper plates (did I imagine that? Seems too cool to be true) and I snapped at her. Biting the hand that would feed me, as it were. Yes, in bitterness and anger. I said I didn�t need any more unobtainable women in my life. It was mean of me. Wounded animal, lashing at, perhaps? I don�t know.
After all, I am an only child, if you discount the few years where my step-brother beat the shit out of me. I get angry when I can�t have what I want, and lately, it seems to be a lot.
It�s funny, I�m not a �leave me alone� type of sick person. I�m a momma�s boy, I like the attention but� this time� If I can�t have it all, I don�t want any of it. I�m in a very extreme mood (wow, that�s new.. hah). It isn�t fair nor is it right, but I don�t care. I want 100% from a person for once. Yes, that�s what it is. No more fractions, damn it.
Oh, poo. This almost became a �love me� whine. Phew, narrowly avoided that one!
God damned cold medicine, making me all soft. Well, fuck that!
-G