I�ve been musing about time lately. It originally started as a desire to meet my friend Erica in 10 years, right now. Basically, I want to meet an Erica that is 10 years older, right now. I want to sit and have coffee with her and talk about the last decade of her life, much like we now talk about the few past years of our life. I don�t know why.

But this got me thinking about time in a larger sense, actually... in a smaller sense, if that make sense. See, talking about time is full of spooks and phantoms, I realize this. But arm chair philosophy and late night musings are free to be spook ridden hollow words that mean absolutely nothing. It�s why people like them so much (kinda like reduced-fat Twinkies).

Any who.. This whole time thing got me thinking. It certainly feels strange lately, and I know that it has to do with lack of forward movement, in thought and in action that�s been bogging me down this last month especially... But it seems like something more. I feel �out of place�. And by that I mean, a stone in a sandy river. The water never really seems to take much notice except to avoiding me, yet the sandy current slowly tears away what�s left. I�m not supposed to be in this sandy river, this isn�t right. A great Eagle thought I was a tortoise and plucked me from my rocky environment only to realize I was, in fact, a rock that sort of looked like a tortoise in the right light. So instead of finding a rocky outcropping to drop me in, which would have been my fate if I were indeed a tortoise, I was dropped haphazardly, without care. And now I sit slowing sinking on a sand bar, the waters of time rushing by with the coarse sand slowly eating away at everything that I am.

Okay so I realize the whole erosion thing is kinda silly because if I would have been sitting out under the sun and weather for enough years, same shit would happen. Yeah... Okay so, the whole analogy needs work. Right. Fine. I�ll work on it, really. I never did say it would make any sense, did I? Well.. actually I never specified if it made sense or not, so you can�t hold me to it making actual sense, now can you? What I do know is that somewhere in my analogy I really do feel like a rock who kinda looks like a tortoise in the right light! Er... no, I mean.. I really feel like a rock that�s in a sandy river! Uh.. okay so maybe I�m just in a river and there is sand in places I don�t care to mention, and I�d like to get out of the river, find a nice fire to warm up to and a big dry towel too? Maybe a change of cloths would be nice, and a bit of lunch. Yeah.

Ahh hell, I don�t know. Bugger off!

-G