Okay, I like this better.

Okay so I�m fighting with the images right now. It�s a combination of sleep deprivation, muscle relaxers, and a constant nagging pain in my neck. (owwY!) I loved the shoot. I had fun, she had fun, and Paul even likes the pics, yet.. I�m being vexed by the myriad of choices in front of me as to how I should handle these images.

The problem is, you see, is that I did not have a clear and concise finished product in my head when conceptualizing the images the day before the shoot. I had the context, idea, and the composition of her and the location already arranged in my head. The lighting was iffy, because I was using the new flash which I�m not really sure about yet.

This particular shot is without a flash because I liked the window light coming in from behind her. I dig the dark shadow she�s in with the highlights, it pleases me.

But anyway, the flash� I dunno. I went with a less expensive flash because I�m basically suffering from a self induced poverty right now and I couldn�t justify spending thousands on a mobile lighting kit, so instead I spent probably just shy of 400. I could have ate for months off that�.. anyway, it�s a powerful flash but not versatile yet. I mean, it would be great to shoot friends smacking each other in the face with their penis�. You typically want that sort of thing kinda blown out.

Really, what I�m trying to say here is� I don�t know how to use the fuckin thing yet, it seems. Or at least, I�m too ignorant to get it to do exactly what I want. I want my Q-flash, damn it! I can use that�

Oh well, still.. After the shoot I went to the Hospital to break the news to Grandma that her beloved pet had passed away. I felt guilty for not going up there before the shoot but I just wasn�t in any shape to deliver such sad news, the shoot helped fortify my emotional state and put things into perspective. I was able to tell her in appropriately solemn, yet strong and confident tones. She took the news stoically knowing that Gizmo�s time was near anyway and already guessing at the outcome. She had a respectful and healthy cry about the whole ordeal which I joined in on. It was good, though. She�s okay. She�s just really regretful that she didn�t get to say goodbye, which I completely understand.

I think it�ll probably be the worst when she�s home and really notices his absence, but we�ll deal with that when the time comes. One step at a time.

One more thing, I�d like to point everyone to what might amount to the nicest person on the planet. No, really. I�d like to publicly thank the nicest person in the world for the particular support and sympathy she has shown. She�s one of those people, I imagine, that when you meet, your heart feels all gushy and you just wanna hug someone :).

But that�s not to say that I don�t appreciate all the other support and sympathy/empathy I�ve received during these times. I sincerely appreciate everyone who has touched my life. Maybe someone out there will read something I�ve writen or will write and be inspired to be more then they currently are. In that, I hope, I�ll give back to a community that has given me so much.

-G