November 7th. My show, must not relax. Even though it sounds like a long time away, to have 25-30 frame worthy prints in that short of time is... frightening. But the fuck that supposedly fixed my car, apparently, didn�t do it properly. I knew I should have done it myself. At least then, I wouldn�t be so pissy about it.
Breath � I�m not bitching.
Who the fuck am I kidding? Of course I am!
Anyway, my life has been filled with a few topics lately that normally find themselves scarce, namely, relationships and religion. I�m flat out fucking sick of talking about religion at this point, and I�m approaching event horizon in regards to relationships. There is ten fucking billion diaries and blogs out there that beat that particular topic into the ground on a daily basis. It�s not even remotely interesting anymore.
Since Joyce (First girl I�ve openly expressed interest in, in a long time, that didn�t work out for whatever reason)... It�s been a topic of conversation and now more and more people are entering quasi-faux-fake-semi-concrete-relationships at an alarming rate. Joyce and I are friends now (99.99% over it, it�s more of a lament for that type of a person as it is for her specifically, anymore) and she�s in a new relationship, Richard is courting some highschool�esque drama in regards to a girl he�s particularly fond of, and even Geoff is dancing on some fine line between a relationship and destruction, I guess...
So yeah, it leaks through to here. Fuck me, Freddy, what a pain in the ass. But this Richard issue has me in a state of quandary. I�m wondering if it�s even worth going into here and now, and not because the people in question might, per chance, read this? It�s just that I don�t know if I could get through the story without vomiting. Yes, a bit of an over-exaggeration, granted, but still. It�s not quite a sordid tale, but I like to think of it as a sordid tale waiting to happen.
Let�s just pose this question and the tone of my question will fill in the blanks for everyone, kinda.. If you were casually dating someone for a little while, but you did not sleep with them, and decided that you and they were better off if you two weren�t together anymore, for whatever reason, would you have a big problem with that person then moving on with someone else, even if it happened to be a friend of yours?
Now, keep in mind that this isn�t high school and the participants have a modicum of maturity and emotional stability, so this clearly isn�t a case of �dating a friend to get back at you�, because that�s an utterly ridiculous notion. I mean, come on?
So you see why I�m hesitant to talk about it? Yeah, bleh.. I thought that too.. �Bleh�. Richard�s happiness probably means more to me then my own happiness, at this point. What�s wrong with him being happy? Seriously? Is that �bad�?
But what the hell do I know?
So, hopefully, God willing (*smirk*), I�ll be able to move on as well and not have to talk about relationships and the imbecility that seems to go along with them. Yes, even on my part.
I�m an imbecile of the highest order!
An interesting thing of note is how reserved I am with Joyce. A few short years ago, I would have been tempted to prioritize her much like someone I�d be in a relationship with, even though she�s actively dating someone else and I have no overt desire for her.
It�s funny to think back to that. I was so emotionally available. I�m actually rather proud that I�m able to reserve myself for relationships that warrant it.
Hell, as little as six months ago, I found myself over-stepping normal friendship bounds with Erica, even though those on the outside wouldn�t consider our friendship resembling anything close to normal.
It�s true, then. Senses really are dulled by fire.
-G