Tonight I went and saw La Femme with some friends from out of town. They liked it but weren�t nearly as thrilled with it as I was. I think for them it was more about the T&A, I could be wrong, but that was my impressions. Well, I appreciated the subtle things much much more then the T&A. The way they used lighting, textures, wardrobe, and of course the actual performers were simply amazing.
It was art, no question about it. Everyone should see this show, and I mean everyone. There isn�t a tasteless moment of the show. It doesn�t even seem to be nudity either. Normally, when I go to a strip club or some topless review, the striking thing is �these girls are naked�. That isn�t the case after about 5 seconds of the show. Again, speaking from my own perspective here.
Then I started to realize just how much I love women. How could a guy be gay? How could someone pass on the pleasure... no, honor of pleasing some beautiful woman? Of being close to and intimate with these wonderful, amazing creatures?
Yes, it may sound pretty silly to some/most of you, I realize this. I also realize that my idyllic view of women is a direct result from my grandmother raising me. Respect and admiration were the mainstays of my upbringing. A certain way to treat a person, not just through little practices (opening car doors, paying the way, all the other older fashioned things that are nice but aren�t �all important�) but a fundamental way of viewing women.
Looking back I can see how these lessons have effected my past relationships and what sort of things they�ve developed in my personality. I used to lay awake in bed watching my girlfriend, just awe struck by how magnificent she was. Things that she would likely consider �flaws� were defining attributes to be loved and appreciated.
This view, this respect and admiration for women has had a lot of bi-products as well, one of the main one was an overwhelming desire to please the woman of my desire. Another would be, and this can be lumped into the pleasing thing, acceptance and appreciation from said woman. I would accept everything about the girl I loved, but I always wanted appreciation for this. For making them the center of my universe, I wanted acknowledgement.
To my young mind which held such idyllic concepts of women, they were incapable of doing wrong. If they were angry, it was my doing, my fault. If they did something painful towards me, I drove them to it. Essentially, I confessed for their sins. Which most of us realize (I hope) that this is pretty stupid and unhealthy, but it�s how I thought. Part of me still can�t get my mind around the concept, wanting to still hold women in this high of regard.
I used to say (not too long ago) that what I really wanted was to find a girl that I could be as nice to as I wanted. This is a pretty sad statement, in my opinion, as to the current state of relationships in society. These sort of things simply aren�t valued much anymore. But still, I hated having to second guess saying nice things or doing nice things because I never wanted to �smother (..!..), or cling� or whatever name people would assign it.
I�m already much more of a distant person from almost everyone as a result of being burned by this. Ask damn near any of my friends how much I call, hrmph.. Anyway...
Now I�ve realized this stuff for awhile, but seeing La Femme really solidified just how much I adore women. Don�t get me wrong, I enjoy being male, and would never think otherwise, but I simply don�t understand why everyone isn�t enthralled by the female form.
But lets get down to the real unhealthy shit, shall we? I hate it when a woman doesn�t hold herself in as high of a regard as I do. I also hate it when men don�t treat women as they (ideally) deserve to be treated, and I really hate when women prefer that. It never made any sense in my world.
I�d have such high regard for a girl then she�d end up a slut with no self respect, no sense of self worth. It would drive me nuts, why would they do this? Their body and affection was a prize, something amazing and wonderful, not to be given to just anybody. Reserved for only those who truly appreciate them.
I always understood why this isn�t so, but never admitted to it. Woman are just people, people are fucked up and make bad choices. Sometimes people don�t think highly enough of them self or aren�t strong enough to overcome base instinct. Some people aren�t happy unless they have emotional pain and drama in their life. Women are just people. Doesn�t that suck?
It�s really a pity that I haven�t found a single person who has ended up deserving the treatment I thought they should have. Love, care, devotion, respect, admiration, all that.
It�s too bad no girl has ever understood the depth of the beauty that I saw them in them. Or ever felt deserving of that sort of admiration.
Some people will look at my photography and think contrary thoughts, others will realize that I�m illustrating these very thoughts in contrast.
But getting back to La Femme, I�m simply impressed by the vision Bernadin and his creation of the Crazy Horse 1951 in Paris, which is the inspiration for La Femme.
I see in his ideal a similar sort of view of women as my own. It may be arrogant and completely misguided, but Alain Bernadin seemed to genuinely love women. I can truly appreciate this. And even if it isn�t the case, and he just wanted to display T&A in a fresh new way, it does a wonderful job at showing off what amazing and beautiful beings women can be. Even though all dozen of the performers were of the .5 percentile of the genetically gifted.
I wish I had conclusions to these thoughts. I don�t think I�ll ever be able to treat women in a more typical manner, or view them any less then I do now. But I�ve tempered my thoughts to be much more reserved and not so disappointed and disheartened when women I initially think very highly of act human. I mean, after all, they are.
If I had one wish, I guess I�d wish women prized themselves a bit more, and took more pride in who they are and what they have to offer. But then again, I could say that about the human race. No difference...
Hockey and chocolate pudding,
-G