I wonder aimlessly around town, driving.. just driving.. no destination, everywhere I look I see flames, violent acts waiting to be committed. I sit at a stop light and watch a city burn. House of cards fold, sand castles crumble. I'm so very tired. After my last rant to Paul, I condemn everything. I leave, forsaking the fake macabre show inside, sickened by it all. I grin in mock amusement at my own bile rising in my throat, the tears welling at my eyes. Supercilious sacrifice. I want it all destroyed. I want to rip everything down, piece by flaming piece. Emotion, reaching a bursting point, seeps through my skin. Fed up. Fucked up. How can one be born for beauty but to see sadness?

Old world angels fallen to the likes of rats, covered in their own putrid fluids, fighting to be the lowly ones, the wretched ones. To have such a supreme impression of one who has fallen so far tends to give a feeling of being cheated, lied to, deceived. Nothing means anything, everything is meaningless, right? Isn't that what the nihilists say? Everywhere I look I see lies, I'm sick of the lies, I'm done with the lies. I don't want to believe in the lies anymore, can this stop, please? I just want someone, fucking anyone, to stop this! Will someone open their god damned eyes? Will someone help open mine???

It's too late, isn't it? Oh well..

-G