I�m going to take this opportunity to talk about Lyndsay. Above and beyond what I wrote in the last link, we talked again for a little while tonight. Just catching up and such. Really reminded me how much I miss her. Lyndsay did something for me that no one else has ever done (besides her, of course.. stop looking at me like that).

Now that I�m writing this, I�m finding just how hard it is to translate into words what exactly she did for me and how special she was to me. To say that she repaired a broken heart would be doing her a disservice, it was much more then that. And all this on top of just how much fun she was to be around. Nothing else really seemed to matter, it was like everything was swept away like so much rubbish. I�ve never experienced that in any other relationship.

Thinking back I think we were too different in the end. I�m about putting myself in potentially disastrous situations to better experience what it means to be alive, her life plan is filled with more realistic things like a good job, nice house, lovely family, and all that. All of which I�m sure she�ll have in abundance.

She�s one of the most honest and loving people I�ve ever met and deserves whatever she sets her heart on. But me, I don�t think I�m going to be happy unless I only live in one country for less then a year. These sort of ideologies tend to clash in the long run. If I were to pursue a similar path, however, I couldn�t imagine a better person to share that life with.

I was perfectly content to lay around and just simply be with her, which as anyone who knows me knows, that never happens. I always hated those couples who just were happy being with each other, just doing.... whatever. Ah well...

I still wonder what would have happened if things would have went down differently in California, when I still lived there. Would I have taken that bio-med job? I mean, it was a good job. It was really a perfect job, which is why it so scared me. Laid back, understanding, non-stress, and very friendly etc.. Bio-med companies are like dinosaurs, slow, steady and relentless in their glacial march in technology. Best of all, everyone there loved me. But I guess that was the sort of thing I often instilled in places when I was looking for work.

But I seriously wonder how things would have been different. Lyndsay was one of the most potent drugs I�ve hitherto experienced. If anything would have kept me in California, it would have been her uncompromising affection. To be loved and appreciated so completely is a powerful narcotic, indeed, especially on the cusp of a frighteningly contrasting relationship.

That and she did this thing with my ear-lobe.... *shudders* hehehe

She really is an amazing girl. I hope our paths cross in the future more often. Just having the wonderful feelings from our very brief past will fuel a life time of admiration for her. She was, by far, one of the brightest points in my sometimes dismal past.

Her existence offers some, a very slight(!), hope for the female race . And please, I don�t wanna hear about the male race, I already know they are completely and forever, hoplessly fucked up. Trust me, I consider myself one of the best among them and I know how bad I can be .

Anyway, thank you Lyndsay. I truly appreciate what you did for me.

-G