I know, I haven�t been writing enough lately. I�ve been in one of those introspective stages that I fall into now and then. Likely because of being sick, that tends to be the catalyst. I�m still a little queasy and weak, good news? Is I lost 8lbs since Thursday. It�s probably all water weight or some such but still, I�ll give the thought a meek smile. Twenty-two more pounds and people will start bugging me about my face looking too thin and gaunt. Sweet! This whole bagels and soup diet is really kicking ass.

I wanted Toss today. I still don�t feel right going there by myself and ordering what I normally order. It all goes back to that fucking painful *click*. Oh well...

In other news, Erica popped back up. It comes to find out she was kidnapped by a uh.. bad relationship? Er.. Aliens.. yeah, aliens. When will people realize really good looking people are fucking insane? They aren�t grounded on this planet that the rest of us are. They are in La La land, with not an ounce of perspective.

Sad, really. I shake my head and saunter on.

You know the people I really like? The people that were unpopular and or fat in high school. They typically have the best personalities and the most grounded perspective. Late bloomers rule, generally. Every now and then, though, one will get a huge head and all the sudden develop the �pretty� mentality and start judging and denouncing others, and really just feeling superior. That pisses me off.

I actually almost got like that for a time while I was gobbled up in corporate America. All pretentious and ultimately arrogant. Granted, I�m still a bit smug, but hey, I�ve actually purchased jeans. Can you believe it? And I wear them, a lot! Based on that alone I�ve gotten a lot better.

I had external influences as well, I can�t take sole responsibility for my pretentiousness. Nor can I remove all blame either. I�m a much better person now. I have to admit, I�m a lot less eager to be used by �friends� these days. Matches do burn twice (sigh)

Yes, this is one fucked up stream of consciousness entry, I realize this. I don�t know what I�m trying to say or why I�m trying to say it. Just consider this entry as some filler mud to hide the.. uh.. rocks. Yeah.

Oh yes, I�m still upset about Charles. I�ve left his web, for now. Kind of like those parents the keep their kids room exactly the same when they go jump off a bridge or something? Yeah, like that. Someone suggested I go buy a spider and keep him in a cage, but I don�t see the challenge of keeping a spider in a cage. The point is to make the spider WANT to live behind my monitor. Or at least, not want to go jump off a high eve. I think spiders in boxes are boring.

I should go to bed, I need to study for finals. And for added excitement, grandma will be going under the surgeons knife during my finals. Yes, let�s make this day as stressful as possible, shall we? I�m to the point where I could give a shit about the finals. But either way, I still won�t make less then a B. But who the hell wants a B? Not me....

Street lights and cordless phones,

-G