I think I may have killed the once thought lost, Chuck. I saw him back in the same web that I haven�t yet cleaned (Forlorn surrogate parents never change their lost children�s bedrooms, I mean, c�mon). At least, I think it was him. He didn�t go jump off the eve. I think he got a gym account, and actually went. Which makes him a lot more motivated then I am, lately.

But that�s not my point, my point is.. he was fucking HUGE. Half dollar huge but I�m sure if you put him on a 8 legged torture rack and made him spread his legs to their full length, he�d be even bigger.. yes, that�s right... even bigger.

So, this may or may not have been the lost Charles, reborn. It was the same kind of spider, which made me think it was.. but he was huge.. and he was missing. How could he keep me worrying all these weeks? (lie) And now, why would he come back to threaten my life with his sheer massiveness?

I left him alone, though. Not because I thought that this new spider was my long lost Chuck. But mainly because I was afraid he�d kick my fucking ass.

So I was writing last night around 3am. It was dark, Massive Attack playing in the background, room illuminated by candles and monitor... I�m freaked the hell out by the appearance of this half dollar sized spider (that could be even bigger) right by my mouse hand.

First instinct? WHAM!!!

Awww shit. I killed Chuck.

Now, in the tradition of those parents who kill their children, I�m promptly changing his room (web). If only I could make it a sewing room.... heavy sigh.

In further news, things are improving slightly in the health department (grandma wise) so I�m not as much of a raving lunatic as I was. However, I was just informed by Un-employment that I must wait up to an additional 11 working days from today to receive news on whether or not my claim will be accepted. Which will make it almost 3 months since being terminated.

I asked if they could forward the checks to �a bush around the corner�. They were about as amused by this remark as I was, which is to say not at all.

Never fear, this does not mark my end but merely a blackened comma in an ongoing story.

-G